NONO NO NO NO SO I HAD CLASS WITH MY LIT TEACHER TODAY AND HIS LEFT ARM IS AMPUTATED FROM JUST BELOW THE ELBOW AND HE WAS HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE PUTTING THE PAPERS ON HIS DESK INTO HIS BREIF CASE AT THE END OF THE CLASS AND I GO TO HIM AND SAY “YOU NEED A HAND?” AND ITS SILENT AND I JUST WHISPER OH NO AND HE STARTS LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY I WAS SO EMBARASSED
Who reblogged his
Why are there so many notes
Freeing the slave was nice, but wouldn’t be that huge of a thing.
Smashing the cups, though? I’m just imagining that Augustus was just walking along one day and saw the slave-owner trying to kill his slave, so he just goes over, tells the slave ‘yo, you’re free’, and then, never breaking his gaze from the slaveowner, casually sweeps all the other cups off the shelf too.
It’s just such a wonderful little ‘fuck you’.
What you’re trying to tell me is Roman Emperor Augustus was actually a cat.
If something is ‘old as fuck’ then it’s about 1.2 billion years old because that’s when life evolved sexual reproduction.
However, if something is “old as balls” it’s only about 65 million years old, when placental mammals began to evolve proper testicles.
So I was writing a small paper in Microsoft Word and the program suddenly crashed (I saved a couple minutes before, thank god) and I get this message in the corner of my screen two seconds afterward
what the fuck